Welcome to Bloggerville

A wedding list

2011-08-23T09:13:00.013-04:00

DIY wedding projects completed:

1. The Favor Jars.
The jars project actually included mini DIY projects within it (Most of them have to do with pickles and even though the pickles didn't make it we did invest a lot of time in that project).

2. The Guestbook.
Mark inserted like 600 photo corners into a scrapbook. We put that book on the gift table with 2 polaroid cameras. Our guests took photos of themselves, inserted the photos into the book, and wrote a message near it. We went home with a complete photo album the next day! It was almost like a way cheaper photo booth. You should steal this idea for your guestbook.

3. The Ceremony
I wasn't sure if I should include this one but I feel like the ceremony is our best wedding achievement. We decided who we wanted to walk in the procession. We wrote our own vows, which we called promises because that's what they were. Donald, Mark, and I conceived of the rest of the text for the ceremony together. And we decided exactly what Donald would say that would announce we were married. As we were planning the wedding, the ceremony was very intimidating because we were not including any religious tradition in our wedding so the ceremony was a completely blank slate. It was not easy but, we created our own tradition by honoring the events in our past that felt important and describing the reasons why we wanted to get married. It was so perfect because it felt like a genuine, 20 minute, family-friendly expression of our love that we shared with our loved ones.

4. The Music
After we discovered that a DJ or a band would be very expensive we decided to have an iPod wedding. We spent maybe 5-7 hours planning a dinner/cocktail hour playlist of songs that we just really love and a dance playlist. We very carefully selected especially the dance songs because we wanted to make sure that there would never be even a milisecond pause in the booty-shakin. It worked! Mostly because we had an amazing friend act as DJ. He even purchased songs from iTunes on the spot as people made requests. And also, I didn't anticipate how much I would enjoy hearing all the songs that I personally selected. I was positively tickled when Ani DiFranco came on because I do not think she gets much play time at weddings.

5. The Invitations & The Save the Dates
Mark is a very talented graphic designer. I had input. I told him I wanted sunflowers on the invitation. I tried to memorize the names of our fonts. (Mark, please comment with the correct titles.) I told him to make my boobs look smaller in the STD. But these 2 very important pieces were really, all him.

6. The website
I know everyone has a wedding website nowadays but fingerath.com really does feel like another DIY because we spent hours figuring out what tabs we would use, what titles, photos on the side bar etc. I really want to keep it alive, but I am aware that is kind of a newlywed cliche at this point.

7. The Honeymoon
I know, again, this is kind of par for the wedding course and maybe we aren't that unique on this one but we did not hire a travel agent. We did not stay at a resort (I'm not knocking anyone who does, we just knew we wouldn't want that for 8 days). We researched destinations, hotels, beaches and we created our own trip that was diverse. It felt like a lot of work.

8. The Confetti
This one was completely mine and unfortunately I do not have any pictures yet. I filled 150 favor bags with eco-friendly lavender buds that we instructed our guests to throw, like confetti, at the end of the ceremony. I can't wait to see how it looked in pictures!

9. Table Numbers
I pretty much had absolutely nothing to do with this one. In fact, I was a whining pain in the butt at Lowe's when we purchased the wood. Mark made 18 table numbers and stands with a wood burning pen while I was away one weekend. He was going to leave them at Full Moon after the wedding but I told him he should try to sell them on etsy. They're beautiful.

10. Slideshow
I guess if you have a wedding slideshow you pretty much have to DIY it. No one else can select childhood photos for you. But I had help from Katie & Amanda, my mom, and my sister to gather photos. Mark put them together into a very charming slideshow that ran on his iPad during the reception. And it's nice that we still have it and can visit it whenever we want.

11. The cake!
This is not our DIY but Mark's mom's. Cheryl has experience making wedding cakes for her other children and she made us a beautiful cake that was exactly what we wanted, even though we didn't know what we wanted until we saw it. She used the cake topper from my parents' wedding back in 1980, which made it even more special.

12. The flower girl hair pieces.
I almost forgot this one. It was really fun because it was crafty and we worked on it with loved ones. You can read all about it here.

If you had asked me a year ago if we would have had a DIY wedding I would have said "Probably not, but I wish we could". Because, as I've mentioned in other posts, I don't think of myself as very artistic but I really love doing projects. And I whined to Mark and Amanda throughout the process that I wanted to have a "Proooject.....a craaaaft....something Martha Stewarty" and what I didn't realize is two things (1) Mark will always maintain a high artistic and aesthetic standard with everything he does so that rubs off on me and (2) DIY doesn't necessarily equal crafty. DIY for us meant creating our own solutions that reflected our values, our style, and our vision for the wedding.

Food I've made recently

2011-07-27T11:17:00.006-04:00

Cayenne Lemonade (Whiskey optional)

Baked Salmon

Pickled Radishes (Strawberries as a snack)

Eggs Louisiana (A cross between deviled eggs and scotch eggs). Recipe from the New York Times cook book.

I am not changing my name - A generational discussion

2011-07-19T08:50:00.007-04:00

So the wedding is less than 3 weeks away. I have busied my usually relaxing (and sometimes boring) teacher summer with all manner of wedding tasks from picking out ties to picking out twine. It is easy to get lost in the details, but there is one major wedding decision that has provoked more internal conflict than I am used to sustaining. As a single woman, I had always said that I would never change my name. My name is pretty freakin awesome. As annoying as it is to say my name over the phone and inevitably hear "What??" in response, I feel very connected to my name. I think that Vanessa Wingerath accurately represents who I am as a woman and as a professional.

After Mark and I became engaged I did not change my mind. I stuck to my convictions. I will remain Vanessa Wingerath. And Mark did not object. He said he did not care greatly about me taking his name. We didn't discuss it much. It was just accepted that when we were married our names would remain the same as they always had. However, as the wedding grew closer I started to question this decision. I became frustrated because I feel like I'm missing out on one of the only real traditions of marriage that very obviously connects two people who are joining as a family.

I revisited the issue with Mark. We discussed hyphenating (Wingerath-Ferguson is too cumbersome). We discussed changing our names to Fingerath, Werguson, Wergerath and we tried to take that as seriously as possible and nothing stuck. I even asked Mark to change his name to Wingerath and that was definitely not an option. I don't blame him for not wanting to be one of the only men ever to take his wife's name, but it's just not fair that if I become Vanessa Ferguson no one would bat an eye and if Mark became Mark Wingerath we would be a joke.

And beyond just the two of us we are thinking about our future children. My mother over at taminitalks.blogspot.com commented on this issue in print and with me privately: even though she is a feminist who is considering returning to her maiden name after divorce she expressed that it is important for a family to feel united in their name because there is a sense of connection and pride among a family that all shares a name. I don't want to miss out on that but I don't want to have to give up my name to do it.

It's not anyone's fault, but I feel there is a severe lack of options for women who are not necessarily eager to fling their given name off into the memory of single life and adolescence once you walk down the aisle. I suspect that before you have children, it is easier to remain separate from your partner in name. However, I am sure we will have to revisit this question again once we are expecting a child. And I'm not sure that Fingerath will seem any more appealing then than it does now. The only viable option I am willing to consider at this point is giving Wingerath to our children as their middle name. That way our children will be ___________ Wingerath Ferguson. No hyphen. Their last names will be Ferguson but my name, my family will also be honored.

I guess I have at least 3 weeks before I have to worry about that.

Two Wishes

2011-07-14T09:48:00.003-04:00

I have two very specific wishes for our wedding.

1. That there is no rain on 8/8/11 in Big Indian, NY.

2. That my wedding ring fits on my finger.

Wedding gifts in action

2011-07-13T09:27:00.001-04:00

Peach, tomato, mozzarella, basil salad.

If you're thinking about proposing

2011-06-21T11:27:00.004-04:00

Please get this ring with black rough cut diamonds and pearls.

The Other Save the Date

2011-06-12T20:48:00.004-04:00

Mark worked very hard on this and we were very pleased with it (especially his full head of hair), but in the end we just couldn't bring ourselves to print and send it. However, it is worth sharing.

Our first DIY Wedding Project!

2011-05-30T22:47:00.011-04:00

So as I was writing that title I realized that it's actually not true. The title should say "Our First DIY craft project" because we are DIY, that is doing EVERYTHING, ourselves. There is no wedding planner, there is no calligrapher, there is no hotel concierge or reception desk, we don't even have a DJ who will assure us that our wedding dance party is on. We are doing everything ourselves. Or at least that's how it feels.

BUT....today Mark and I visited his sister Mary and her wonderful family. Mary is the Ferguson family craft expert. Although every woman in his family seems to have some really amazing artistic talent that I envy. Mary took us to Michael's (it was surprisingly uncrowded on memorial day) where we intended to pick up materials to make hair clips for all Mark's nieces (there are 12!) who will be our flower girls.

Her helpful hints and tips guided us through picking out the best gerbera daisy-looking fake flowers, hair clips, ribbon and a few other items for future projects that we are now inspired to take on (table numbers, confetti bags etc).

We spread out on her kitchen table with scissors, two types of glue, all the flowers and the help of our niece (They call me Auntie V!) who is an experienced crafter at 7 years old.

I've always enjoyed doing projects like this, but when I go to a craft store on my own I feel intimidated and end up not doing anything. The clips came out looking so pretty and we definitely would not have done it without Mary's help. It felt really nice to work on something for the wedding together. I cannot wait to see all our flower girls walk down the aisle.

Mark is a Calligrapher

2011-04-25T10:33:00.008-04:00

After some thorough research at Lion in the Sun in Park Slope in March and April we decided that purchasing an invitation motif out of a book was impersonal, too difficult for us to agree, and too expensive to be worth it. So Mark spent precious unpaid freelance hours designing a beautiful double-sided, three-pane (triptych style) invitation plus an envelope liner. It was stressful, but we're so glad that he did because they came out beautiful and we're not very DIY but it's true that you feel so much more connected to objects when you have made them yourself.

Mark addressed over 90 invitations Saturday and Sunday night. I stamped and sealed them.

Although he didn't use traditional calligraphy, the addresses look really cool.

And we put our invitations in the mail this morning!

I'm sure Mark felt this even more acutely than I did, but I noticed that there is something very intimate and loving about spending an entire weekend very carefully crafting the names and addresses of our loved ones.

Our second visit to Full Moon

2011-04-23T19:39:00.007-04:00

We met the chef at Full Moon resort this morning and tasted all our wedding entrees. Everything was delicious! Our wedding definitely won't have the requisite cardboard wedding food. Now we just have to figure out the sound equipment. Good thing Matty B sound is on the job.

The mossy trunk next to babbling brook (above) may be the site of our ceremony.

We're getting married in less than 4 months!

2011-04-21T08:44:00.005-04:00

The cast of A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Mark and I have been in a flurry of wedding related business for the last few weeks. There is so much going on. Maybe I should quit my job as a wedding planner so I can start teaching Spanish again. The big day is getting closer and we're so excited!

Here are a few highlights:

- Mark designed the invitations. They look amazing! They should be going out before the end of April. Look for yours because it will be a quick turn around time for RSVPs.
- We booked our honeymoon. We'll be going to Costa Rica for 8 days right after we get hitched. It will be our first international trip together.
- We ordered our rings from Little King. A very fun and offbeat jewelry store that also made my lavender sapphire engagement ring.
- I found my wedding shoes. They're wedges. I am not good in heels and I'm getting married in the forest....so there.
- Our wonderful photographer Tiffany Arment, posted our engagement shoot on her website. She also has several other photos of weddings at Full Moon resort.
- We are going up to Full Moon for the first time since June for our tasting with the caterer this weekend.
- fingerath.com is updated with all the information you need to know about having a great time in the Catskills from 8/7-8/9 this summer. (I'm resisting putting exclamation points on everything right now)(!)
- My mom is moving out of our childhood home. So I plan on embarrassing all my high school friends with all the letters I saved from our days at NV at the bachlorette party.
- Mark picked out suits for his groomsmen and himself. He'll be in linen. He is so handsome.

Mark did my nails

2011-04-11T08:32:00.003-04:00

Newspaper nails:

1. Paint your nails a light color and let them dry. I only had a pale pink. It would have been better with gray or light blue or lavender. Among all one dozen of my purple nail polishes I did not have lavender.

2. Cut out pieces of newspaper that are bigger than your nail.

3. Dip each finger in rubbing alcohol. Press the newspaper on to your nail and drop a little more alcohol on the paper to keep it from sticking to the nail. Peel off gently.

4. Paint your nails again with clear polish to keep the ink from rubbing off. This proved slightly difficult because if you don't paint with a dainty touch the brush of the polish might smudge the ink.

10 things I can do now that the play is over

2011-04-05T10:19:00.004-04:00

1. Pluck my eyebrows
2. Grade papers
3. Go to the gym
4. Read the news
5. Debate Iceland vs. Costa Rica with Mark
6. Go to the doctor
7. Help my mom pack up our childhood home before she moves in 2 weeks
8. Search for wedding shoes!
9. Tutor students who are failing Spanish
10. Make dinner for my future husband
(11. BLOG!)

Ten Songs that will Not be Played at my Wedding

2011-01-22T08:20:00.009-05:00

1. Don't stop believin'
2. Brick House
3. Sweet Caroline
4. The Way You Look Tonight
5. Another One Bites the Dust
6. Ain't No Mountain
7. Buttercup
8. Respect (Aretha version)
9. Come on Eileen
10.Don't Want to Miss a Thing

Snowpocalypse 2010

2010-12-28T11:11:00.003-05:00

Thank you Dan Forst for coining the term.

So, for all my non-NYC readers (all 2 of you) we sort of had a white Christmas. It started snowing around 10am on Sunday 12/26 and it did not stop until almost 24 hours later. The snow was falling at a rate of about 2 inches per hour. In total we had about 20 inches of snow. I was in NJ where snow plows are in abundance and the shovel to human ratio is at least one to one. So after some family games (celebrity, fantasies, free association) by the fire, lots of cable TV, and a trip to the garden state mall we were ready to return to the city. At the caution of Ms. Katie Clark we decided not to drive back in to Brooklyn last night. And I'm extremely glad that we took her advice.

We arrived back in Brooklyn this morning and shit is bananas. Roads that normally support traffic at 40 mph are not plowed at all. Several cars are completely buried in their parking spaces. However, even more dangerously, way too many cars were abandoned in the middle of intersections and in traffic lanes. Two way roads have become one way roads, pedestrians are crossing snow drifts of 3 feet and higher, and plow trucks are nowhere to be seen. Dan told me he saw trucks, city buses, ambulances and fire trucks all stuck in the snow throughout the day yesterday. It's almost as if plow trucks are so confused by the demand that they have forgotten what their actual purpose is.

I feel, a little, like an entitled park slope parent. HOW DARE THE CITY NOT CLEAN UP THE ROADS AND SIDEWALKS I USE TO GET TO YOGA, WALK MY DOG, AND BUY ORGANIC HOUSE CLEANING PRODUCTS. I guess I'm not the only one.

This is a ginger root making a list

2010-12-18T09:34:00.004-05:00

....and checking it twice. Is anyone else as disturbed as I am?

Are you a rose girl?

2010-12-14T19:38:00.007-05:00

So I actually considered being my own wedding florist. One day (oh maybe 10 days after I got engaged) Amanda and I kind of decided that it would be the best way to save a bunch of money - just eliminate one of those standard things. She offered to help me make arrangements and pick out mason jars. I read a post on apracticalwedding.com that made it sound like a plausible, creative, and fun DIY endeavor. I told my mom about it and she graciously allowed me to fantasize about the New York flower market without nary a discouraging word.

Enter my grandmother, Lilian who has impeccable taste and style in her advanced age. She dressed up for the wedding dress shopping day and was complimented by a 20 something hipster through a Starbucks window who mouthed, "You look fabulous." And an NYU professor of art, "You're a classy lady". (At that moment it occurred to me that she had dressed for Vera Wang, not Starbucks) Well, maybe at this point you can guess that she did not entertain the idea of bride as florist for even one blink. She just said no.

And I listened. And seriously, I do REALLY want to discover some DIY projects I can do for my wedding because I like to be crafty and it would make me feel good to see my own personal handiwork on our special day but arranging flowers the week of the wedding, transporting them upstate, and organizing them THE DAY OF THE WEDDING just is not the same as making some paper bag lanterns and personalized doilies one weekend. So thanks Gram. You were definitely right.

And this post is not going to outline my search for the best wedding florist. I didn't research florists, read a ton of reviews, look at portfolios, or even clip floral photos out of bridal magazines. All I did was schedule a consultation meeting (I guess ignoring emails is one way of getting prospective clients to meet you face to face) with Jim at Elderberry Florist because he was recommended by the venue. Jim asked for my vision for the event, educated me on flowers that could replace my beloved lilacs that are not available in August (Check out the vernacula above, an alternative to roses), and even humored Mark's preference for less flowery looking flowers that include more green and less purple. Jim said he'd incorporate it into the boutonnieres but really, "Mark, you're not the bride..."

So, I guess this has been said before but sometimes it's just necessary to pay a professional to get the job done, especially when you're going to be busy getting married and you don't want to have to worry about details such as stem height and rusticity. You just want the calla lilies to be in place.

P.S. I am not a rose girl. I'm a Lillie girl.

Honeymooning

2010-11-27T17:53:00.008-05:00

So, Mark and I have been engaged for almost 7 months now. It feels like we should hurry up and be married already but.... I insisted on a summer wedding because that's what teachers do. So I'm living with my decisions. And I think I'm actually proving to be a pretty decisive bride. We visited one site back in June and booked it the next day. I picked out my wedding dress in less than an hour. And the bridesmaid dresses were all settled in one afternoon (with all my five bridesmaids present, I might add).

There is one aspect of this whole wedding/marriage that is causing much doubt, some bickering and a whole lot of conversation and that is the honeymoon. Mark and I have never really taken a vacation together. In January we will celebrate our two year anniversary and the only time we flew on an airplane together was this past summer when we went to Chicago for Andy & Ana's wedding. So, my first instinct was to make our honeymoon like a super-trip to make up for all the traveling we have not done. Complete with European site-seeing, decadent cuisine, adventurous exploring, and long walks on the beach. Mark countered by saying that he does not want to have a to-do list on our honeymoon. Hey, I function well with to-do lists. That is how I travel, so it took me a month or two to realize that this is a different kind of trip and I agree. Also, I'm older and wiser now; I've been to 3 weddings since we got engaged and was a maid of honor in one. I learned that I will not be the zippy, jet-setting, cultural sponge that I usually am three days after I get married and throw the party of my life.

So now that we've ruled out the international adventure honeymoon, I'm all about the tranquil, sunny, and indulgent honeymoon. Which is pretty much what everyone already thinks of when the concept of a honeymoon comes up. And it is what the wedding industry wants to sell me. BUT. And this is a big butt. I refuse to go on a cheesy, resort, all-inclusive, staff who make way less than minimum wage serving me coco-locos in my bikini honyemoon. This might sound snobby but I have been on cruises and I have been to resorts and I am being honest when I say that they feel like you are ingesting the worst part of the mass-produced, get sloppy or die tryin' mentality of American budget vacationing. And I do not what to be within a 5 mile radius of ANY undergrads or Jersey Shore wannabes grinding to house music while on my honeymoon.

So, maybe I am a vacation snob. Maybe I am putting too much pressure on this honeymoon thing but I really need some suggestions or advice. Does anyone have any vacation wonder stories they are willing to share? Locations that are relaxing, scenic, and non-cheesy without the five star price tag? I have literally not made any progress lately.

Thank you.

Love,
V

Six Word Reviews: Benchmark

2010-11-08T12:12:00.005-05:00

Eh food. Eye bleedingly terrible service.

339 Second St.
Park Slope Brooklyn

Photo Shoots are for Lovers

2010-11-07T20:53:00.012-05:00

I didn't know what an engagement shoot was or that it was even somewhat standard until Amanda and Luke had their photos taken last spring. They were wonderfully glamorous and so New York. Think: modern hotel room, multiple wardrobe changes, and subway signs flanking lovers' clasped hands. I didn't imagine that we'd have an engagement shoot until we found our photographer and she offered to include a one hour shoot in the package if we booked her before labor day. Well, most of you know what I was doing before labor day (ahem...not working and wedding planning a whole year in advance) so that was not a problem.

We booked our engagement shoot for the Sunday before Columbus day and the weather, lighting, and general mood were very conducive to public displays of engagement.

Once we got a little more comfortable, of course we had to make out,

pose with an apple,

pose with dead leaves,

and then make fun of posing in general.

Stay tuned for more of the love on our wedding website, tentatively titled Fingerath.

Amanda & Luke Got Married

2010-10-11T08:36:00.012-04:00

My best friend from 7th grade married her Skidmore lover on September 18th of this year. It was the most perfect wedding.

The weather was superb. The food was delectable. The ceremony was unique. The decorations were classy. The reception was a blast. The night was crazy awesome.

This wedding was not perfect by accident. During the 11 months of their engagement Amanda lived and breathed wedding. She researched, visited, demanded, crafted, haggled, shopped, waited, wrapped and otherwise owned every detail of this event. And the result was a day that was completely true to her and Luke.

The ceremony honored the love of other married couples.

The signs were written by my beautiful fiancee while the bridal party ladies pranced around in robes getting ready for the ceremony.

The music inspired a dance party that did not rest.

The photo booth provided an unforgettable experience that ensured the participation of every guest.

Mark and I were so pleased to end our wedding season at the wedding of such dear friends that was also a magnificently kick-ass party. It is so meaningful to me that I had the opportunity to share in this day as a bridesmaid for Amanda as I am beginning to envision my own wedding.

And in case you're wondering. Amanda is not resting on her wedding-planning laurels just because she's married. She is still trawling those wedding blogs. But now she can send her ideas off and share her wisdom with me.

Farming is good for the soul

2010-09-06T21:23:00.006-04:00

As our last vacation/road trip of the summer Mark and I rented a car and visited our dear friends Jonathan and Charlotte at Freedom Farm in Freedom, Maine. They are apprenticing there for 6 months in preparation for their future life as a farming couple. They live in a cabin slightly bigger than their full sized bed, but it's decorated with familiar objects that made me want to curl up for a cup of tea and a long chat. Mark and I stayed in a "cabin" that was more like a permanent tent.

We arrived in time for Friday's harvest. We picked Sun Gold and Chiquita tomatoes. They were beyond delicious. I was reminded of why a tomato is a fruit and why fruit is better than candy. Then we processed the vegetables for Saturday's markets. I tasted a yellow watermelon for the first time. Thank you Carvel for your ice cream cake disguised as a watermelon that served me well at many birthday parties in my Grandma's back yard but next time I'll just have a Gahlia melon.

On Saturday there was no harvest, so we weeded the cabbage patch (ha!) and clipped garlic for about 4 hours. I learned 2 things about garlic in this time. (1) Do not eat it raw and (2) The reason why you don't want to swallow it raw is the same reason why it can burn warts, draw sinus infections out through your ears, and yeast infections through your.... My entire body was sore afterward. But it was the kind of exhaustion that makes you feel like you really earned your keep.

On Sunday we awoke with the rooster (it crows whenever it feels like it) to pack the truck and drive to Bar Harbor for the market. Jon and Charlotte had the most beautiful vegetables I have ever seen at any market ever. And Mark's talent with visual composition sold even the loneliest of vegetables. Several customers remarked exactly this, "They're almost too pretty to eat". They were mostly referring to the rainbow swiss chard and the purple onions (I don't know why anyone calls them red).

It was remarkably satisfying to work on vacation.

(Leggy Carrots courtesy of Freedom Farm)

Leggy Carrots

2010-08-25T13:04:00.005-04:00

I like the bizarre Jessica Rabbit looking ones the best, personally. The second ones are wearing high waisted jeans. And I cannot figure out what the last one on the right should be.

Ideas?

Two Weddings in Two Weeks

2010-08-17T09:32:00.026-04:00

Mark and I have spent the last two weekends at weddings of our dear friends. One was outside Chicago and the other was smack dab in the key center of Cleveland. We drove to one and flew to the other. One was a couple that have been dating since college and the other was a couple who met on match.com. Both weddings were reflective of the couple and their families. And both weddings were absurdly joyful.

Banquet hall, bold colors, and 200 guests in a quiet city This couple compromised by getting married in a Greek Orthodox church in Ohio because her family is in Ohio and his is Greek Orthodox. Their ceremony was, obviously, traditional....and completely in Greek. Their reception meant business when it got all of the rituals out of the way early (cake cutting, first dance, and speeches) to make way for the real events (eating and dancing). Laura and Nick sat on executive chairs on a small stage across from the band's stage and the large sporting event monitor with motorized camera that followed guests at random (Hello, Vanessa hiking up her dress AGAIN). And after the 6 hour party we were stuffed with delicious food and drink, but we still sampled two party trays of Cleveland pizza in our rooms, after-party style.

A Barn, bottles of wild flowers, and 70 guests in a loud suburb The second couple wed in a barn that was nestled in shrubs with chirping cicadas that rivaled that of even New Jersey summers. The ceremony was short but oh so sweet. The couple used some Irish vows that affirm the difficulties as well as joys of life-time commitment, but made me weep nonetheless. And my prometida played Rod Stewart's Mandolin Wind as all the parents, grandparents, and attendants entered and walked the short aisle. The bride did not wear a wedding dress, in keeping with her own sophisticated style. She was nontraditional and beautiful.

Mark and I saw both ends of the wedding spectrum this month. I trust that Amanda and Luke's wedding next month will split the middle.

As you can see in the photos we enjoyed ourselves just as much in the barn as in the banquet hall. I understand now that even though you cannot help yourself obsessing over the details of your wedding, when you finally arrive at the day, all that matters is that you are marrying the one you love and everyone else you love is there to help you celebrate.

Check out Mark's wedding accompaniment. The cicadas are some stiff competition.

A picture's worth....having a wedding.

2010-08-09T21:01:00.009-04:00

I went to a photography website that had that as its tagline. So yes, this post is about my search for a photographer. I held off researching photographers because my Aunt Leslie Wingerath is a wedding photographer and we weren't sure if she was going to take the pictures or not. We decided that having her do the videography would be better because I trust someone in the family to make a personal video more than a stranger. So that left me to begin the quest of finding a photographer. AND LET ME TELL YOU there is no shortage of wedding photographers in New York City. But something else that there isn't a shortage of is wedding photographers who want to charge you 25% of your entire wedding budget for 6 hours of their time.

I started my research in la la land with a portrait photographer who works with who I assume is her husband who is, oh uh, ya know a pulitzer prize winning photographer (Please click on Pregnacity). After I got lost in her photos of mothers (I hope you find the naked pregnant woman in golashes) I had to email her. It turns out New York magazine lied and she isn't AT ALL budget. Goodbye Alice-in-Weddingland.

Then, I started fantasizing about a photographer I found on probably the most successful and widely read wedding blog that all the neophyte self-proclaimed wedding experts want to emulate. Her name was Emily and she seemed perfect. Mark said she made people who weren't necessarily very attractive look great on their special day. So I started chatting with her and she was sooo sweet. Could have been my new best friend UNTIL she started 'estimating' how much additional it would cost to fly her and her assistant our here from San Francisco, get them a rental car, put them up, and feed them for 2 days. NOPE. NOT in the budget.

I finally came to my senses and looked at the listings for photographers on catskillswedding.com. Which I probably do not need to mention is an unimaginative, cluttered, and user-unfriendly site that somehow captures that feeling of traveling north for hours in New York and ending up in a town with one gas station, one bait and tackle shop, and one pancake house that closes at 3pm. Feeling defeated I clicked on the first photographer in the listing and was so relieved to find photos of hipsters having a picnic in Prospect Park.

I contacted Tiffany Arment and not only were her prices HALF of what the cheapest NYC photographer was asking but she used to live on sixth street in park slope where we live now. AND she almost decided to have her wedding at Full Moon (as we are). So there ya have it. If you need a wedding vendor who understands your off beat sensibilities and snobbish disapproval of anything that comes out of small towns and suburbs, then hire someone who used to live in Brooklyn but has since come to their senses about actually living here.

Wedding dress -- schmedding dress

2010-07-22T09:24:00.000-04:00

Yeah I know, I'm not getting married for another WHOLE YEAR but after booking the venue and setting the date (8/8/11, yes it's a Monday people) buying the dress seemed like the next logical step.

Actually it wasn't so logical at all. I was originally planning to wait until at least January to look at dresses but then all my engaged friends told me you need to allow an insane 9-10 months for the dress to be made....ummm are they literally hand sewing each pleat on my dress, and then white glove delivering it by pony express?? YES.

Anyway, I sadly cannot post a photo of the dress or tell you too much about it because someone is very eager to find out about it before he is supposed to. But, I will say that I tried on a few very serious gowns including the completely lace dress Ali Larter wore. But after my Grandmother got involved and insisted I wear something more tailored that shows off my figure, I ended up with a dress that is perfect for me.

Oh, and after I was measured for my dress we asked if we could go to the bridesmaid shop to try a few things on (my maid of honor, Liv, was with us) and they said we could look but not try anything on because all the associates were busy with Chelsea Clinton's 15 bridesmaids. Ha!

P.S. The above dress is the first one I found that I wanted. (My uncle said no.)

My ring is famous!

2010-07-15T08:45:00.000-04:00

The first thing I did online after I got engaged was upload a picture of my ring to Martha Stewart Weddings. I totally forgot about it until now (I'm on summer break and finding ways to pass the time) and I just realized that my ring is there!

I'm excited because it's the only non-diamond within the first twelve pages of bad manicures and long engagement stories.

Cool.

I've been juicing

2010-06-09T07:33:00.000-04:00

So I picked out a few of my own birthday gifts this year. And one of them was Jack LaLanne's power juicer. I have been pining for a juicer for quite a while now even though several people have tried to discourage me when I bring it up (mostly men....ahem, mi prometido).
"We don't really have space for that."
"It's a bitch to clean"
"You'll use it a few times and then it'll sit on a shelf until you move out."
However, I am happy to report that I have used it several times since my birthday. And here are a few of my favorite combinations:

Apple, Carrot, Ginger
4 apples
6 carrots
1 piece of ginger (size depending on how much ginger you like)

Blueberry Lemonade
As many lemons as you can carry, peeled
1 box of bluberries
Agave Nectar
Water/Ice
Seltzer
Vodka

Cucumber, Carrot, Parsley
2 cucumbers
6 carrots
1 bunch of parsley
small piece of ginger
1-2 apples to cut the bitterness of the vegetables.

The juicer does have a few marked downsides that I begrudgingly admit:

It is a bitch to clean
It take several fruits and vegetables to make a small amount of juice
You must peel any citrus fruit prior to juicing

Juice be triflin', basically.

(The Abcense of) Wedding Blog

2010-05-29T08:44:00.000-04:00

So I have decided that Bloggerville is going to be my wedding blog now. And by wedding blog I just mean to refer to the period between now and our wedding (14 months from now, I think) as Wedding Time. I will chronicle the happenings of Vanessa during my long engagement. The irony is that there really isn't much of a wedding at all as of now. Mark and I have disagreed about the date (April vs. July 2011), the place (Brooklyn vs. Upstate), and the size (invite only family and extremely close friends vs. invite everyone). My goal right now is to at least have a venue booked before I go to South Africa with my sisters for two weeks at the end of June because when I come back it will be 12 months until our wedding(!)

I'm not really a blog person. I wish I were. I am envious of people who have jobs that allow them to sit in front of computers all day and become extremely acquainted with the blogosphere of whatever interest they are pursuing. The only interest I can pursue during my work day is avoiding being called "Mistah". However, I came across this blog called apracticalwedding.com after following all the New York wedding blogs that seem to be solely concerned with how hip the pictures turn out. APW (haha, check me out) is beautiful. And its creator is actually inspiring me to gracefully integrate my feelings about flower arrangements, Vera Wang, marriage, and Mark as I'm entering this process. I told you...beautiful. So here I am, attempting to do that. It's not just about the budget or the guest list or the perfect shade of purple. It's about a marriage that I want to begin by throwing an expensive kick-ass party.

So, I've been looking upon my last post (We got engaged!) with nostalgia. (WTF????) Because, in that moment, everything was perfect. We were expressing our love for one another in that I-never-want-to-be-without-you-way. And all of our friends were telling us that we are perfect together and I was (still am) SO into my ring. But now, I look at my engagement post or think of it on my own and I'm like, "Ok....deep breath....hold your nose....aaaaannnnnddd....JUMP." Because the engagement is the first door opening to the Rest of Our Life.

Holy shit. Now what?

Well, of course there are tons of people in my inner (and not so inner) circles who have been in this position before and have a plethora of advice (If your rehearsal is outside, make sure your bridesmaids wear sunscreen) and ideas (butterflies! instead of flowers). I'm not hurting for advice or ideas or a sounding board but I am realizing that everything I think I want (Martin Short as a wedding planner, a backyard reception, swans) is based on my childhood favorite movie Father of the Bride. Hmmm. It miiiigght be time to update my fantasies. Mark has been encouraging me to fantasize. And when I do THAT, I end up somewhere around....getting married at a farm with cabins for everyone to sleep in, OR basing catering completely on shell fish, OR having my "friends' " band play all the music (the "friends" in the band are two of my ex boyfriends") OR trying to make every aspect of the ceremony a sing along. AHHHHHH!!!!

So, I appreciate anyone who reads this and is here, in my personal blogosphere, with me. And if you are there, please comment, because otherwise I'm just an idiot who edits her journal entries.

Miss, I heard you got a ring on it

2010-05-10T22:19:00.001-04:00

Mark proposed to me on the subway platform. He gave me the most perfect ring.

Six Word Reviews: Alma, Red Hook

2010-04-22T21:25:00.000-04:00

Secluded sklyline view. A Mexican gem.

(gracias, Mia)

Vegetables and what they're good for

2010-04-13T19:39:00.001-04:00

Every time I go to acupuncture and complain of gas or digestive irritation she tells me to eliminate gluten from my diet. And when I have the slightest post-nasal drip or chronic throat clearing she advises I eliminate dairy. So what does that leave?.....vegetables.

Here are my top 9. In alphabetical order.

1. Asparagus - delicious with barely any seasoning. Can be cooked with several methods and is an asthetically pleasing side dish to any meal. I like the tips best and don't break them, that's sad.
2. Arugula - the only exception to number 8. Arugula + salt + pepper + shaved parmesan + lemon juice + olive oil = the sophisticated minimalist's salad.
3. Bok Choy - I love it but I'm afraid it's a fad.
4. Brussel Sprouts - delicious quartered and broiled.
5. Cucumber - Bathe in salt or rice vinegar for quick pickles but oh, so satisfying raw.
6. Eggplant - difficult to cook but delicious when it's done right. Babaganoush and eggplant parm a la Liv.
7. Radishes - I was obsessed with them as a kid because I watched Fairy Tale Theater's Rapunzel. The one where Jeff Bridges goes blind and Shelly Duval (the wife in The Shining) craves them during her pregnancy with Rapunzel (also played by Shelly Duval). Anyway, I used to beg my mom to buy them and I didn't actually rediscover them as an adult until one time when I had to go to stupid supermarket for groceries and it was literally the only vegetable they had. So satisfying....with ranch dressing or on a salad.
8. Tomatoes - I wish it were tomato season all year round. No salad can exist without them. Salted and alone for the most plump, juicy, and ripe tomatoes
9. Zucchini - the most pleasing when steamed and slathered with butter, salt and pepper.

Frigid NY: Medea

2010-02-27T11:40:00.000-05:00

We got reviewed!

Stone Park Cafe: 324 Fifth Ave.

2010-01-29T12:46:00.000-05:00

Adore brunch codcakes. Dinner robbed me.

Six Word Reviews: Rose Water

2010-01-24T10:04:00.001-05:00

Rose Water: 787 Union St.

Forced Prix Fixe. Brisket for brunch.

Six Word Reviews: Song

2010-01-24T09:53:00.000-05:00

Song: 295 Fifth Ave

Cheap Thai food tastes more expensive.

Cultural Eccentricities

2010-01-15T10:32:00.000-05:00

In the summer of 2008 I worked at a camp called Project Common Bond. It was a camp organized by Tuesday's Children, an organization that services the families who were affected most greatly by 9/11. The camp was designed to bring together children from all around the world who had suffered a significant loss due to terrorism. They hired me because a group of Spanish teenagers were attending and many of them spoke barely any English.

I am currently cleaning out all my papers and books in preparation to move to a new apartment tomorrow morning and I found a sheet of quotes from Irish, Israeli and Spanish youths trying to understand the norms of American youth. It was titled "Cultural Eccentricities"

"What is that sound? It's not squirrels, is it?"
- Kathy, Spain, referring to the sound of crickets on the campus of Bryn Mawr

"Are we really going to have a party because pizza is not a party."
- Miguel from Basque country.

"Why do men wear their pants below their underwear?"
-Ivan, Northern Ireland

"What is Christian?"
- Stav, Isreal

"You know that movie...Forget me at home 1 and Forget me at home 2"
-Dror, Israel

"Hey, at least you're not dead."
- Evyatar, Israel, written on a Care Card

Lost & Found: NYE 2010

2010-01-04T22:47:00.000-05:00

LOST

Black 3/4 length Joss A Bank coat. Flask in one pocket, keys in another.
Black totes umbrella
small, black & boxy cell phone http://www.china-wholesale-supplier.com/images/2008/NECP008.jpg
Dignity

FOUND

men's red plaid scarf
silver digital camera with pictures of the Janeway wedding
large headphones and attached MP2 playing device
red female cardigan sweater
oatmeal female cardigan sweater
black wool hat
black dickies cap
bear wine top
500 sqaure feet of really sticky confetti
Love

If you would like to claim one of the found items, please email me. If you mistakenly took one of the lost items (specifically the Joss A Bank coat which is sorely missed) please email me. If you invited people to this party, please forward them this email. I would very much appreciate it.

Craigslists Writer's Group

2010-01-04T19:47:00.000-05:00

So my otherwise seemingly antisocial roommate who avoids our house parties and has introduced me to no more than two of her friends in the 3.5 years we've lived together is currently hosting a group of 22 writers brought together by craigslist to our living and dining rooms.

It started with an information email to the housemates in November. She requested no personal belongings in the common space (which is virtually impossible for us) and quiet from 7:30 to 8:30pm on this Monday night January 4, 2010. It is now, 10:45 and they are just finishing up.

The first writer to arrive was later revealed to be the leader/organizer of the event. He was a young, bald guy who wore a mohawk hat (you kinda have to wonder about that). He told me his new year's resolution was to have 100 vegetarian days in 2010 but that he would not be counting because "there's just too much going on in life".

Then a small mousy girl arrived next with no bones at all about being a bitch to strangers. She badgered at least 3 different men into eating her cupcakes that were really pumpkin muffins. She told my roommate it was "fucked up" that she didn't introduce her to the other roommates. She also refused to allow my roommate to clean up after her while she displayed and modeled all the items she bought at Forever 21.

Several more writers arrived throughout the next half hour of varying ages and food preferences. I heard "I brought calories!" over a plate of doughnuts from New Jersey, "I'm going to show a You Tube video instead of reading my piece", and "How tall are you, Sara? I want to be the shortest Sara here."

I had to leave when they began the silent writing portion of the evening because I started to imagine their free write would lead to observational writing about their surroundings which included me clanging cabinets, washing dishes, and chewing loudly.

Dear Craigslist,

Thanks for helping me find the beautiful apartment Mark and I will move into on January 15th and the inspiration to write my first blog post since August.

Love,
Vanessa

El Camino de Santiago

2009-09-01T09:31:00.000-04:00

The Camino de Santiago is a hiking trail that spans 800 kilometers across the north of Spain. People from all over, mostly, Europe carve 5 weeks out of their lives to walk this trail. It is technically a pilgrimage that ends at the cathedral in Santiago de Compostela where the remains of the apostle St. James are buried.

Two of my friends decided to take this summer of 2009 to complete this pilgrimage. They explained to me that they would pack only a hiking backpack with two of each of the following: T-shirt, socks, underwear, sports bra. And one pair of shorts, pants, and extra shoes. You walk all day (12-18 miles), arrive in a willage, and then start searching for a bed in an albergue or refugio. I decided to join them 2/3 of the way into the Camino. We met in Villafranca del Bierzo.

Albergues and refugios are one step lower than hostals, in terms of accomodations. You sleep in a bunk bed, share a shower with 12 other people, and are at the mercy of the owner's curfew. Everyone there is either walking or biking the Camino. Everyone wakes up around 6 am and starts getting ready to walk again.

Before I met the first foot path of the Camino I read a passage in my lonely planet guidebook that quoted a farmer saying, "I think people come to the Camino because it acts as therapy for anyone who has something to work out in their personal life." I guffawed at this idea of the Caminio acting as the vessel for personal reflection or change. But I found out I was wrong when I saw pilgrims of all ages dancing, kissing, and praying in the plaza outside the cathedral in Santiago de Compostela. I endured tendonitis in my ankles, the loss of a toenail, and extreme exhaustion for the 8 days that I walked. But I would do it again from the beginning because the feeling of walking along a road day after day to cover a distance that should be driven gives you a sense of accomplishment and a connection to your mind and body that cannot be achieved another way.

Don't Eat This

2009-07-31T11:54:00.001-04:00

My favorite ex-roommate once got an inexplicable package. It was about 2x2x1 and stuffed with individually packaged free samples of Propel sports beverage powder, Silk chocolate soy milk juice boxes, and oatmeal raisin Soy Joy bars. We were pretty psyched first of all because no one knows why it was accidentally delivered to Ryan and because we got a ton of edible free shit. However, one very important discovery was made and that is that Soy Joy bars do not taste good. I am not picky about soy products and I am a big fan of all those fruity, nutty, mealy, soyy bars with mystery ingredients that can be eaten anywhere and make you feel "healthy". But seriously, the Soy Joy must be avoided. In fact, they're pretty disgusting. Please don't eat them.

Top 10 most annoying things about having the summer off

2009-07-31T10:01:00.001-04:00

1. I spend all my money
2. I drink and eat too much.
3. I clean up after my housemates more than usual.
4. My mom expects me to attend every family function and help with the cooking.
5. Whenever I'm bored, I go shopping.
6. Lost isn't on.
7. What Not To Wear is on
8. I do not have a pool.
9. Everyone assumes that since you're not working you're free to do anything anytime so it's really sketchy to decline invitations.
10. I WANT to go back to work.

Scotch Egg

2009-07-18T09:09:00.000-04:00

My sister Olivia and I were hanging out yesterday just watching Nurse Jackie in my oven living room when decided to think of something to do outside the house. That's when it came to my attention that she is just plain OVER my refusal to hang out in Manhattan. I have been avoiding bars in Manhattan like the armless man on the subway since I moved here in 2006. Brooklyn is just my jam. But since Liv and I were both pretty much bored to tears I allowed a trip to the West Village.

We went to a bar called Wilfie & Nell. Pretty much what you'd expect out of an after work scene in the West Village. The beers were $7, the specialty cocktails were $11, and the napkins were dish towels. People were dressed up to be there and no one was eating. But there were a few snacks on the menu. I never miss bar food at happy hour (Although it was 5pm everything was still regular price. I'm a Brooklyn teacher, force of habit I guess.)

The only $4 item on the menu was something called a Scotch Egg. We had driven all the way through Chinatown AND Little Italy to get here so I figured I'd try something I hadn't eaten in Brooklyn. The scotch egg is a delightful creation if you like eggs and toast. The perfectly hard boiled egg is nestled into a thick whole grain muffin. I say muffin for lack of a better word but it is not sweet like a muffin. More like very hearty toast in a roundish shape. The Scotch Egg I ate was much thicker than the one in the picture above. It is served with large grain mustard.

Delicious, cheap, and filling bar snack. Check it out if you're looking for a place to try in not Brookyn.

We came back to Brooklyn to have dinner at Fette Sau.

Yakkity Yak

2009-07-17T08:12:00.000-04:00

The Yakkity Yak teeth toy was invented by Eddie Goldfarb and introduced to the U.S. in the 1940s. Mr. Goldfarb is also responsible for Busy Biddy (a chicken that lays its own eggs) and Merry Go Sip (a merry-go-round that is propelled by the consumption of milk). Now, what I'm wondering is how come we have never heard of Busy Biddy or Merry Go Sip? They seem like useful and at least intriguing additions to the family playroom. But the Yakkity Yak teeth are so much more popular that people are requiring them for a specific purpose and buying them on ebay - 70 years after their invention!

I could not find a single image of Busy Biddy or Merry Go Sip on the internet (believe me, I was very determined) but google alone has over 100,000 images of Yakkity Yak teeth. Please let me know if you find one. I am especially interested in the Merry Go Sip. How exactly does drinking milk make the merry go round?

The video above is what my sister did with her Yakkity Yak teeth after they arrived too late to be used in her senior choreography show.

Check out Eddie Goldfarb in the Toy Industry hall of fame

This is my new principal

2009-06-30T11:39:00.001-04:00

Spanish Teacher - A Timeline of my Career

2009-06-23T21:16:00.000-04:00

June 2007 - Entered NYC Teaching Fellows Program

September 2007 - Began working as a Spanish Teacher at I.S. 162

May 20, 2009 - Graduated from Pace University with a Masters in Science for Teachers, Concentrations in Spanish and Adolescent Education 7-12.

Wednesday May 27, 2009 - News of excessing at I.S. 162 is dropped

Later that day - Phone call from Principal of I.S. 162, "Your job is safe. Spanish is staying."

Friday May 29, 2009 - 6 teachers are excessed from I.S. 162

Tuesday June 2, 2009 - I am excessed from I.S. 162. I have drinks at Habana Outpost, in the rain.

Wednesday June 3, 2009 - Interview at M.S. 174. " I need you to teach a little of each grade. Maybe 2nd, 5th, 8th, you don't mind right?"

Wednesday June 10, 2009 - Interview at P.S. 323. Principal gets door slammed in face by a teacher. "Do you have your June bulletin boards up?"

Monday June 15, 2009 - Interview at Bushwick School for Social Justice. Hiring Committe watches me speak broken Spanish to their confused parent coordinator.

Tuesday June 16, 2009 - Job fair. 18 resumes and 12 non-listening ears. "Twelve teaching periods plus.....err.....professional duties."

Wednesday June 17, 2009 - Phone call from Bushwick School for Social Justice - Interview in Spanish over the phone. Totally rocked it. Principal at 162 recommends me 160%.

Tuesday June 23, 2009 - Demo lesson and interview at Bronx Academy of Letters. "You know what you're doing. The kids really connected with you. But maybe you should speak more Spanish."

Later the same day - phone call from principal of Bronx Academy of Letters to schedule an interview for the last day of school.

Monday June 29, 2009 - Interview with principal at Bronx Academy of Letters. She is published and a Winona Ryder doppelganger.

Interview with hiring committee of the School for Classics. "You will teach Spanish and theater."

Phone call from principal at Bronx Academy of Letters offering me the position of Spanish Teacher. "I think you will really grow here."

I accept the position.

Tuesday June 30, 2009

Principal at my new school asks me to come in and meet with her to answer any questions I may have and discuss supplies that will be ordered on my behalf.

Status = High School Spanish Teacher, Nervous

Dan Loves Sarah

2009-06-10T07:39:00.001-04:00

Click on the link below to see the photos:

http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLanding.action?c=f12tr6v.2xkjm5m3&x=0&y=-dr1pt3&localeid=en_US

You want to see my photos?

2009-06-07T12:38:00.000-04:00

As much as I hate to admit it: I have spent over 3 hours this week trying to get my photos on facebook so people I don't even remember exist, future employers and nosy students can view them. And itt's just not happening so I am posting the link to my birthday photos here.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLanding.action?c=f12tr6v.bjnen3v7&x=0&y=txyy8q&localeid=en_US

These are from the actual day of my birth as well as the musical party the next day. Someone, please let me know if the link doesn't work.

Cupping? Sounds fun.

2009-05-27T18:37:00.000-04:00

I went to acupuncture yesterday. Yes, my insurance covers it and no, it does not hurt. You can barely feel it actually. They usually ask what your goals are for the session. So I told her I was having a lot of soreness in base of my neck. She did the needle treatment and then asked me if I minded cupping. "Uhh, no that's fine.", I mumbled with my head in the cradle, interrupted from a very deep acupuncture nap.

And then she asked me if I mind bruising. Hmm. That's a tougher one. Do I mind? At this point I was able to ask, "What exactly do you mean by cupping?". She explained that it is a suction treatment that relieves tension by promoting circulation. I ignored the bruising question for a moment and then she said, "I just wanted to make sure that you don't have a wedding to go to or something and you won't upstage the bride." What kind of bruises is she talking about here? I don't bruise that easily. I've gone to work with bed bug welts. I can handle this. My curiosity tends to rule over my precautionary instinct. So I declined to mention that I actually am attending a wedding this weekend while I experienced what seemed to be mild cupping pressure on my upper back.

I found out at a bar that evening while meeting some of my boyfriend's female friends that my backless dress will have to stay home this weekend.

However, the tension in my back has utterly vanished

Musical Theater Birthday

2009-05-09T08:54:00.001-04:00

Forget the Macaroni Salad

2009-04-27T16:56:00.000-04:00

Grilled Octopus & Papaya Salad
Salad Ingredients:

1 box or bag of baby spinach
1 small vidalia onion
1/4 ripe papaya sliced into thick strips
1 lb. of raw Squid

Squid Marinade:
(courtesy of M. Ferguson)

1/2 c. extra virgin olive oil
1/4 c. finely diced cilantro
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 finely chopped habanero or jalapeno pepper, seeds removed
salt & pepper to taste

1. Cover squid pieces in marinade and let sit for an hour
2. Pierce squid pieces on to a kebab to grill
3. Grill over medium heat until legs coil and squid is crispy
4. Toss salad ingredients together.
5. Place squid pieces on each salad serving
6. Dress with grilled lemon and lime juice, if desired.

The Mobe-Up

2009-02-25T21:58:00.000-05:00

We all know (and to some extent do not want to admit) how Facebook has just made it easier to be all up in other people's business on a minute-by-minute basis. Personally, I was just beginning to accept the fact that my "friends" or rather random people from high school and friends of friends were looking at pictures of me in my sexy teacher costume from this past Halloween. But I definitely took a pregnant pause when a co-worker whom I have never spoke on unprofessional topics with revealed that she had been aware of the frequency and volume of photos uploaded of me and by me within a span of 4 days while on vacation without a proper internet connection or laptop screen.

I just got the iPhone and after 3 or 4 days of furious uploading from the App Store, I closed my mouth, tried to call my mom, and found out that the iPhone doesn't really let you make calls as easily as it remotely controls my iTunes or streams YouTube. This was disappointing and frustrating because I am a talker. My dashboard of experiences must be cleared at least weekly by debriefing sessions with each member of my inner circle or I have a mini panic and start writing all too personal blog posts. But it wasn't until the Verizon representative who patiently listened to the circumstances of how I happened upon a free iPhone asked, "And how do you feel about that?" that I seriously mourned the RZR.

The intersection of iPhone and Facebook is best appreciated while on a trip where you do not have a laptop handy and your camera is imbedded in the same device as your cyber networking obsession. The crossover of these two gadgets goes by the name of mobile upload. The mobe-up is so immediately satisfying that facebook feeders (users who follow the news feed for updates more often than they brush their teeth) will find out how your ass looked in those jeans you've been wearing for a week before you get undressed for the night. I fully used or possibly even wore out the mobe-up because my iBookG4 stopped letting me upload photos to facebook the old-fashioned way in 2006. I mobed everything up from pretty beaches to group dinners to photos that prominently feature my camera-whore of double chin because I was just so darn excited to be back in the game.

I finally returned to my wired and all too plugged-in reality, and with the help of the gabby programmer at work I found out that the online community of faces, limited profile friends, the in-network priveleged, the out-of-network savvy, students who know my first name, and curious exes is bigger than the screen on my iPhone. Maybe the mobe-up is a bit much, Katie. Or maybe I'm just glad to use all ten fingers to type for a while. I just hope my mobe-up album hasn't reached it's maximum of 100 photos yet because I'm going on a road trip in May.

You should write a book

2009-01-10T11:24:00.000-05:00

Get a Day Job, So You Can Start Your Nightlife by Donald Peter Butchko

In this wit-dripping satire of a how-to for dummies who don't know how to pick out a book Mr. Butchko uses his own experience as a thespian in New York City to write his first book. Donald Butchko does what most just platitude about. He works on interesting theater in New York City at night and lives a post-it, phone answering, paper organizing administrative existence during the day. And he is not eating ramen for breakfast either. Butchko shows those out of work theater majors and wannabe rehearsal goers that you actually can work 9-5 and make theater AND still have money for cab rides and stainless steel garbage cans. Butchko lives what most only fear failing at - and he's committed to helping you do it too!

Straddling the Line between Midwest and Midwood by Laura Marie Morton

Laura Morton flew to New York during her senior year at Ohio University to interview for the New York City Teaching Fellows. While she was getting those last few frat parties and out of her system her friend in NY was finding her a junior one bedroom apartment in an up-and-coming neighborhood of Brooklyn. But this is not a story about the wholesome college grad who rejected her midwestern values to live in the gritty city. This is the moving away from home story of someone who actually managed to maintain her root structure while broadening her experience. Ms. Morton is refreshingly honest about courteously denying the eighth invitation she received to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of an Ohio friend on the same page as admitting she had not tasted middle eastern food before her 24th birthday. Laura Morton's loveliness glistens off the page in a way that is just light enough for New Yorkers to be interested and just palatable enough for native midwesterners to be inspired.

My Pedagogical Creed

2008-12-20T08:36:00.000-05:00

This was the final assignment for my Foundations of Education course

Education was not a passion for me
Education was a place to be
Education was a way to see
Myself as a mover
Myself as a do-er

A doer of skirts
A doer of skill
A doer of breakfast
A doer of bills

Set myself at the stern
And create business where children learn
Where they enter with a promise and a lick
Stand tall and carry big stick

You are not one
You are not only
You will be grand
But only solely

Education, you do not choose
Teacher genius, you do not make
Nurture patience all to use
Zeal and might, none to break

You lean on you
You know best
Firmly rooted in life
And its success

But it’s not you
Who holds the gem
It’s those you face:
It’s them

***

A gnawing sorrow
A grieving place
A want to know
At least make space

Their greatest loads
Are earnest holes,

So when they reach for matter
That drains like a sieve
It leaves remnants who
Precious little gives

Two forces: one is essential
The other not second

I am not job
I am not parent
I am not redeemer
I am only source

Giving tenderness
Dispensing reality
Imparting clues
And spilling quality

My creed is not what I think
It is how I know
What to give
And where it shows

I cannot walk away from what I have seen
I know they are where I should be

This is not just another stupid animal video...I hate those

2008-11-19T22:33:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRzTfgds0UI

A blog entry is not enough

2008-11-11T22:45:00.000-05:00

I need to purchase some ad space on a billboard over the NJ turnpike and list the utterly shocking behaviors men allow themselves to get away with that I have either experienced myself or heard about from close friends.

Maybe when I get my next Americorps check I can look into that. For now, my words will have to be shouted from the rooftops of bloggerville.

He did wha??
True stories from the underbelly

1. He dated her for 6 months, said he was having doubts and asked her if they could get together to talk it over. He never called.

2. He "accidentally" had unprotected sex with the girl he's been seeing for 3 weeks after she said no. He wrote a really long apology email, and then ended the relationship by saying he was really just too busy for a girlfriend.

3. He told her he wanted to marry her but couldn't say he loved her yet. He stopped calling.

4. They were dating for a few months. He went to strip club and tried to hook up with a stripper. He got kicked out of the club and she heard about it from his roommate who later became her boyfriend.

5. He is married. He kissed another girl and told the girl his wife didn't mind. Then he told his wife about the girl and showed his wife pictures of the girl on facebook. Finally, he told the girl that his wife thought she was really pretty.

6. They were friends with benefits. Without warning he introduced her as his girlfriend to his extended family members at a party. He hooked up with another girl that night.

7. He has a live-in girlfriend. He tried to score with someone else while he was out of town - he said he was about to break up with his girlfriend. The other girl did not give in to his advances. He is still living with his girlfriend.

8. He told her loved her. He then gave her a bunch of music that reminded him of her...plus a video of him having sex with his ex-girlfriend on their bed.

9. They had recently broken up but they made out at a party anyway. She turned around and he was standing on a coffee table with his hand up a slutty school-girl skirt.

10. They had a work relationship that worked. Until she realized he could only speak on 5 very specific topics. He hit on her teenaged sister.

11. They were hooking up for months. He ended it by saying he didn't want a girlfriend. He started seriously dating someone else, days later. He is now engaged to that someone else.

Maybe I'll make a calendar. I'll need at least one more jaw-dropper. Please send me your stories.

Thank you to my anonymous contributors. I couldn't have done it without your heartbreak and humiliation.

My first song

2008-10-27T21:39:00.001-04:00

You say you want your freedom
What else could it be
You just want to sleep late
And I want you to think of me.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
I want you by my side.
My life is like a ferris wheel and buddy,
You have missed the ride.

How could it be
That you're not with me
I've got all my ducks in line.
Progress is like sipping wine.

If you weren't you
If I didn't know
What it was like with her
And why she had to go.

I would not be me.
We would not be here
It would all be bars and friends

And sometimes you would call me, Dear

How could it be
That you're not with me
I always played along
I even sang your songs

I watered patience and I nurtured time
I made myself the manager
Of your relationship assembly line.

I waited for you always
Every single minute
I prayed that you would make my day
But you never did it

How could it be
That you're not with me
You're not quite a man
And Wendy can't live in Neverland

How could it be
That you're not with me
From the wrong time and place
You reached out and touched my face

How could it be
That you're not with me
We had so much left to do
I'm so not done with you

I cannot change you
Even in fantasy
So you'll make your music
Until it is reality

Creative Director: Ryan Morrison, Production Manager & Copywriter: Donald Butchko

2008-10-15T23:20:00.001-04:00

Publish Post

Everything I need to know about men I learned from a custodian

2008-10-10T18:40:00.000-04:00

So all my girlfriends tell me this is a rite of passage for being a "girl" and apparently I wasn't a girl until this week because I was bitching at work about a boy. Freakin' - as my students would put it.

I have never been the kind of girl to lose it over anything really. Especially a guy I'm seeing. All of the people who know me well are remarking on the rarity of Vanessa being the one to obsess, lose capability for rational thought, and be driven completely by emotion. If I was experiencing the present as myself from three months ago, I would have been much more detached from the events that inspired this post.

I was reduced to talking about personal issues in a very public space (the school library) because my friend who I trust to level me in times like these did not have her classroom free that period. I was so unraveled that it was impossible to talk quietly or go cool off or get distracted with work. I think this is what most women blame PMS for. However, the silver lining was a man who came to my rescue, so to speak, and simplified it all for me when I least expected it. When I thought I was going to have to take my first personal day in the history of me for "female reasons" the custodian started talking while he emptied my trash.

He saw me with my phone and said, "Whatever you do, don't call him." Evidently he had heard me singing like a tea kettle in the library. He proceeded to dispel advice that women seek from male friends, brothers and fathers and somehow, it never hits the mark. It started with, "Let me tell you about men, and the way we work..." I was so desperate for some clarity that I could not tell if I was hanging on his every word because they actually made sense or because I would have sought counseling from anyone who walked through my door.

The custodian made a lot of sense, ladies. He referenced cavemen, cunts, and the importance of staying busy. He blamed history, social culture, and his mother for he and his brethren's collective bewildering treatment of women as a result of manliness. He has a wife whom I've heard him complain about and he generalized his experience with the women in his past in a way that eloquently reflected on his (err?) 35 years of life.

I latched on to his point of view, immediately. My instinct to write bitchy emails and walk through the streets listening to Ani and bobbing my head in angst were curbed, for the moment.

But then the custodian paused to take off the single latex glove he wears while cleaning the refuse of slobby children and said, "If it makes you feel any better - if I was single, I would totally go for you." ::awkward side hug ::

Sigh, the custodian was no longer the sage I had been searching for who could represent his gender and give me the perspective to chill the fuck out. He was a custodian who was flirting with a teacher in her moment of weakness. Or maybe he was just trying to comfort me.

Peace, men.

Special thanks to my blog editor, Mr. Donald Butchko.

"A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again"

2008-09-28T11:10:00.000-04:00

This is the title of an essay written by David Foster Wallace (1962-2008) about his week on a cruise ship. I have not read this essay but I read an obituary in New York magazine for the late author of Infinite Jest that mentioned it and I instantly agreed with the title in relation to the topic.

I've been on four cruise vacations in my 25 years. Two with my immediate family, one with a school trip, and one with a family reunion of 30. And all I can say is reiterate the title of DFW's essay.

Cruises have mass appeal because the ships are each supposed to be a hotel/resort/spa/casino/shopping mall/tourist center all in one. But seriously: does all that fit on a ship? If you're having trouble picturing it - the answer is no. And guess what get's compromised so that you can have an all in one luxury vacation: Yup that would be, the space between where you sleep and the ceiling, the size of the pool (can we say kiddy pool?), the bar stools, the space between my yoga mat and yours, the space in my stomach between meals and the serenity of dining with the people you decided to cruise with.

Yes, there are an average of 10 square meals available per day but when you're experiencing an underlying sensation of nausea (famously dubbed "dizzy times" by the cleverly hilarious Liv) every time you stand up because you're ON A BOAT you're not exactly taking advantage of the midnight buffet. It's the perfect scam. Yeah sure, we invite you to eat a 9 course dinner and then go snack on finger foods on the Lido deck with your watery margarita but make sure you spend at least 45 minutes on the toilet in between.

The decor on cruise ships contributes to the sea sickness. Who decided that every cruise ship has to have that geometrically patterned disco-era purple, blue, yellow, orange carpeting on the walls as well as the floor on at least 8 decks out of 12? It's almost like they're forcing you out of your "cabin" where the tide is felt more intensely with every descending floor and up to the casino and bar decks where the glaring dance floor is slightly more digestible than the magic eye wall carpet.

The only trip out of my 4 cruise experiences that I would actually recommend is the one that included a Farah family reunion with 30 family members from 3 generations. And that is not because we went on a bigger ship with a realistically sized pool or more spacious accomodations where you can actually stand up and blow dry your hair before the ship's "formal night". Nope....all the cheesy magicians and bingo games were still present at ultimate highs but being with 30 instead of 5 people I knew was kind of like being at Skidmore because everywhere you go, you see someone you partied with last night.

Whenever I was pacing the decks wondering why I didn't feel more vacationy or racking up a tab at the rainbow room I would run into someone I knew. I could stop and chat with my great uncle George, peruse pashminas with my sister, or glimpse my cousin leading his bandit of unsupervised cruise kids on to their next deed of mischief. This provided for a diverse array of cruise ship experiences that enabled me to see the cruise vacation farce for what it was - a watered down resort where you are perpetually squished, sick, and stuffed. But if you've got a variety of kooky relatives onboard you'll just laugh about how you cannot escape the supposedly fun thing you'll never do again.

Rent from a Renter's Perspective

2008-09-28T09:17:00.000-04:00

I find it interesting that Movie Tickets asked me to review this film since the showings are over today and if you are reading this you probably won't have a chance to see it. But nonetheless, I consider myself a serious Renter so I did not want to let it go unreviewed and unblogged.

I was obsessed with the show in the late nineties. My friend Amanda and I spent too much time writing out the lyrics from memory. I had a solo in my choir's version of Seasons of Love and I performed my own version of Leap of Faith at my senior talent show (Amanda sang backup and played the cow bell for me).

Since my parents are no longer paying for me to see Broadway shows annually I was definitely not going to miss this more affordable option to see Rent one last time. Amanda and I got tickets because even though our theatre tastes have matured greatly and we do not speak in musical theater lyrics anymore we had to commemorate Rent leaving Broadway with the rest of our generation.

It was great to see the show on film, sort of. Of course, I'm a junkie for the music and I don't pass up a chance to hear it but the filmed version at times made me forget that it was a staged production. There were too many close-ups and not enough whole stage shots. I wanted to pretend I was in the audience at the Nederlander theatre one last time and there were too many moments I found myself wondering if the performer's had orthodontic implants instead of experiencing the panorama that is live theatre.

It was an added bonus to see some of the members of the original cast take the stage for an encore of Seasons of Love. I felt like I could be part of the ending of an era and see people on screen who felt like crying just as much as I did.

Overall, seeing this film was about the experience of being included in the closing of the show that scored my adolescence. It wasn't about the film itself. So if you're a Renter like me, I hope you were able to catch it, for nostaligia's sake.

The back up dress

2008-09-15T22:08:00.000-04:00

So I was at a wedding this weekend. It was a reasonably small, low-key wedding at a vacation house community in the Catskills. My friends and I slept on the floor of a neighbor's house who did not know the betrothed before they starting planning their wedding to take place at what is referred to as Twilight Park.

One of the most talked-about aspects of most weddings is what people are going to wear. Guests and bridal party alike. This one was no different. The bride came very close to wearing a Banana Republic sun dress until she decided to have a white dress made to copy the fit of the sundress. Men complained about wearing suits in humid weather. Women deliberated back and forth about the appropriateness of their jewelry, their shoes, and of course their dresses. I was camping out with a couple of my really close girlfriends so I was immersed in this kind of discourse for most of the weekend.

When we finally prettied ourselves to our liking and made way to the occasion it became clear that this was one of those understated weddings, as far as fashion goes. There were men wearing sneakers and women wearing skirts and top separates. However, there was one girl who seemed to miss the "we are getting married in the woods" memo. In broad daylight, in fall, she was wearing a very form fitting black lace over bright pink lining, spaghetti strap number with embroidered flowers over the right breast. She was well endowed and needless to say, there was no room for a bra. Her shoes did her no favors either. They were "against the law" as the only fabulously gay man at the wedding put it. They were black, open toe, with silver 4 inch stilettos.

People were buzzing about this one standout dress from the beginning. Mystery girl heard such comments as "Va va va voom" and "You're getting a lot of compliments tonight aren't you? Don't worry, we're just jealous." from both the mother and father of the bride, friends and strangers. As the comments went from loosely complimentary to slightly jabbing the woman wearing the lady of the night dress started to explain that the plain black, loose-fitting, and generally more appropriate dress she meant to wear had been forgotten hanging on her closet door and that this flashy Betsey Johnson garment was the "back up dress". Most honest people reacted with, "Uh, yeah sure." A few were able to cough out, "Oh, please. You look great. "

Let's call a spade a spade: nothing with this much flare and noise suggests "back-up" anything. And the girl wearing it understood this irony but she pleaded her case anyway as she danced all night, holding her chest as she bounced. To be fair, there really was no other way to keep them in.

Dear Va Va Voom lady,

Your dress ain't backin up nothin. Let's keep it about the bride next time.

Love,
Vanessa

A dream

2008-09-11T11:51:00.000-04:00

I had a dream that I ran into Hannah at what I think was Bryn Mawr college. Her hair was bleached blonde and she was wearing a navy blue t-shirt and a matching cotton skirt. I called out to her and couldn't resist running towards her. I jumped up from my cross legged position. I had been leaning against a bookcase. I think Laura was with me but maybe it was Liv.

Hannah winced a little and looked like she might try to get out of a conversation with me but she didn't. She didn't back step. It was that "Oh shit" look that we see so often on our students who know that you're about to bust them.

I don't recall exactly what our first words were but they were nothing resembling accusatory "Where were you?" or "What were you thinking?" - the questions that have been running through my head since I heard about the sighting at the Apple store earlier this week. The exchanges I do remember, however, were interesting.

One involved Hannah showing me pictures of someone I did not recognize. I asked her who he was and she said he was her "new guy" and as soon as she said that I realized that I was immediately accepting the fact that she has a new life that includes no one who was in it before. And, after we hung out for a while she asked me, "So, am I like in big trouble?" And I did what Megan and Mia and I discussed on the train last night would not be the appropriate response to being reunited with Hannah. I said, "Of course! What do you think. Your mother is going crazy!" And the funny thing is, I do not know Hannah's mother. I have never met her and I have not heard a peep about how she is handling Hannah's disappearance.

I made that comment in my dream because my mother was the last person I spoke to before I went to bed last night. I filled her in on the most recent updates with Hannah and my mom switched immediately from her usual sympathetic, therapeutic, rational and professional tone of concern to an emotional, hysterical and typically involved only-the-way-a-mother-can-
be identity that gave me an unfiltered taste of what people closer to Hannah than I am must be feeling right now.

It is difficult for mothers, best friends, brothers, and roommates to bury the frustration and helplessness that is mounting now. I'm glad that I don't have to anymore, because I have acted it out in my dreams.

Hannah Upp

2008-09-04T22:25:00.001-04:00

Please come home.

I heart Gchat

2008-08-31T20:48:00.000-04:00

I used to be obsessed with AIM. Like, for real, it was more of a full time job than what my parents were paying thousands of dollars for me to do at college. I changed my away messages every hour and they were usually dead accurate as to my whereabouts. Life occurred on AIM - practical jokes, engagement announcements, breakups, makeups, and even roommate to roommate communication so we didn't have to even turn our heads to face each other and exchange spoken words. The laughs were endless, actually.

But, my point is this: gchat is a more mature way to communicate silently. We graduated from college just as google was beginning to rule the internet and now we can chat using our real names. As charming as "HandMeaCigar" and and "ProfessorBooty97" were I'm glad most of us have graduated to online chatting with the names that we put on our business cards. Maybe I'm just bitter because my AIM screen name included a typo that took all the sense out of it. No, I'm not gonna remind you what it was. You can open your AIM for the first time in 3 years to look it up if you really want to know.

Secondly, with gchat our "buddy lists" only consist of people we've actually emailed. Google recognizes that if I have email business with you, I might want to talk to you, live, on the internet. I guess you could argue that AIM only lists buddies that you input yourself but c'mon....did you really want your middle school summer camp crush to know when you're going to the dining hall at 5:15pm and when you're bringing a flask of jager to the Bandersnatchers jam (for the 5th time that semester).

Finally, to all my friends who are still hanging on to hotmail or yahoo mail. I want you on gchat so I can tell you my favorite song quotes and pester you to read my blog. It's not more time wasted online. It's more time connecting with people you probably aren't going to pick up the phone and call anyway.

Kids say the darndest things

2008-08-27T16:21:00.001-04:00

Miss, she was calling me a fat ass because I ate the school lunch and then ate my own sandwich.

Miss, I'm gonna set up cameras at your house and watch you in your room with your boyfriend.

Miss, you're Puerto Rican right?

Miss, you look like a man but don't worry you still look good.

How old do you have to be to have sex?

Top Ten grossest things I've cleaned up at 201 Ashland Pl.

2008-08-27T16:14:00.000-04:00

10. The microwave
9. Orange mildew/green soapscum
8. Toothbrush holder slime
7. Sludgey ash trays
6. Beer glistening floor
5. Spider beetle and bedbug carcasses
4. Dirty wine glass covered in about 100 live ants
3. Live cockroach left under a glass in the middle of the living room
2. Bowl of congealed BBQ sauce left on porch for weeks.
1. Used Tampon Applicator on the kitchen counter
0. Toilet clogged and subsequently overflowing with someone else's poop

What text message gives you a facial tic?

2008-08-27T16:08:00.001-04:00

1. "What's up?"

Dear Tampax, where's the thread?

2008-08-27T15:29:00.000-04:00

I bet you didn't think anyone would notice but where is that convenient thread in the wrapper of your tampons that makes it so easy to open them with your mouth? Without the thread, I can't open a tampon without at least two separate motions: rip rip. That second rip is keeping me in the bathroom approximately 15 extra seconds every month. And I'm not gonna switch to Pearl or OB or (god forbid) Kotex because my girl scout troop leader in fifth grade told me that we have to do our part to conserve landfill space by choosing tampons with cardboard applicators and paper wrapping.

Please put the thread back. I'll pay an $.69 per box for it. Seriously.

Love,
Vanessa